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"We need all of us out there, stating, clarifying, discussing, modeling, filling all of the space with the messages we care about. If we do that, energy fields develop and with them, their wondrous capacity to bring energy into form." — Margaret Wheatley, Leadership and the New Science
The lifeblood of the twenty-first century is communication. Partnering, networking, teaming, collaborating, allying, and synergizing have all grown exponentially in this relationship world of ours. As always, the business of life is about people and the ability to get along and work along, but never before in human history have we experienced this variety, complexity, and volume of interactions. Count up your own partnerships of all kinds and you will be amazed.
The real revolution in our relationships is how we conduct them. The old style, associated with the patriarchal family and corporate hierarchy, is being replaced by a more consensual, equality mode. The critical, aloof, analytical, and ego-centered ways of communicating are giving way to a more open, respectful and heartfelt process. Intuition plays the central role in our new way of relating because of its inherent qualities of empathy, sensitivity, respect, sincerity, openness, and supportiveness.
Empathy
"Listen. Make a way for yourself inside yourself." — Rumi
The new communication rests on the empathic ability to feel what another is feeling. Without this empathy, there is no basis for community or communication. To truly communicate means to actually know who another is, to be able to step into another's shoes--into another's heart. This is done by intuition, a feeling about that person's feelings. Communication is not talking at, but feeling with.
Such communication involves active listening, meaning to not analyze another as they talk and to enter into their field of feeling and mindset. The easiest way to do this is by mirroring them, by reflecting their own way of speech, facial mannerisms, and body language. Then the other person also feels comfortable with you and will in turn communicate more openly and honestly.
Sensitivity: Reading Others
Life and business is all about people, but sometimes we forget that. We get lost in the hype and the idea of something great and are then sabotaged by the wrong people in the wrong place. Reading people is paramount to success. A businesswoman friend of mine introduced her plan and product line to a large corporation that had a great track record and reputation. During their initial meetings, she felt the proverbial "bad vibes" from their chief attorney and deal-maker. However, she put that aside and went on with the negotiations for another six months, only to find that the company cut her out and stole her proposal. The lesson she learned was: "Trust what you know to be true, and follow it."
As you emphatically listen and mirror the other person, you will intuitively pick up cues and clues that further explain how they really feel. Intuition is sensitive, continually sensing and reading below the words and between the lines. What does a person's voice say? Listen and intuit. What do a person's gestures indicate? Watch and intuit.
In one study, people who are aphasics (unable to understand spoken language) scored significantly higher than others in reading whether a person was telling the truth or not. Their ability was based on their observations of a person's physical mannerisms as they talked. (14) Another study concluded that looking at a person's gestures from the eyes on up was more telling than any other part of the face. (15)
Personalities are colorful and can be read accordingly. A negative person could be drab or dark, a fun person yellow, a creative person green, a spiritual person indigo. These auras change, of course, depending upon a person's mood. It's possible to understand another, or even a group energy, by intuitively ascribing a color to them.
Once, in giving a presentation to a sales organization, I intuitively saw, beforehand, that they would be a "yellow and pink" group. It turned out that their brochure was yellow, meaning bright and noticeable, as sales people must be. But during the talk, I felt they were a red, rather than pink, crowd. My judgmental mind felt they were "too" red, but in the spirit of true communication, I let my voice and emotions rip, allowing my words to come out red--loud, passionate, and powerful. It worked.
Intuition Application: Aura Reading
Ask yourself what color impression you get from a person or group and what that tells you about them.
Respect
Intuitive communication is based on respect for others and their truth, having compassion for their situation and point of view, rather than being critically and negatively judgmental.
Intuition is a person's authenticity, so any time an individual is expressing their feelings, that is their truth, and that cannot be denied or denigrated.